The two longest weeks of my life...

My husband and I have been together for almost seven years, five of which (almost) we've been married. During this time we haven't been apart for longer than two or three days - though not sleeping in the same bed for maybe a week tops. I will openly admit that I am dependent on him to sleep. He is my bestest friend and soul mate. Anyway! He has this great opportunity to travel with the company he works for - Scentsy. You may of heard of them, they are a big HUGE deal. He will be all over - California, Wyoming, Nevada, Montana! I'm so excited for all the places he will get to go and see (though he will be working long and hard days so he may just get to sleep in these cool places...). He will be gone for two weeks. Fourteen days.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out a little. It's not about the obvious stuff - like his help with the kids, the dishes he is so good at doing, the laughter he is so good at creating, the groceries he is so willing to stop and pick up. I could go on, but I think you get it. I'm freaking out because how am I going to sleep?! Who am I going to talk to!? Who is going to let me kick their butt at Monopoly until the wee hours of Saturday morning?!

I will become best friends with my skype account and regular Facetime will be a must. It's going to be a crazy two weeks but I'm really sort of looking forward to going to all the places Clay hates without feeling bad for dragging him around! ;) The Dollar Store, Craft Warehouse and Goodwill better look out!

Bring it on! 

Friday's Letters (1)

Dear Husband: Thank you. Thank you for always making me feel beautiful, needed, wanted and for loving me through it all. You are amazing. I don't know how I'll function without you here for two whole weeks (more on this later!). Dear Jack: You've gone two whole weeks without wetting the bed. I am so insanely proud of you. It's also been about two weeks since you've had an accident. Way to go booger! Also, yesterday was such an amazing day because of you and your smiles, giggles and insistent 'come to the toy room mom! look! TOYS!'. Thank you. Dear Owen: Wow. Every time I look at you I am in awe of how grown up you've become. When did you get so big? Dear Idaho Weather: Thank you for the beautiful snow! I'd appreciate it if you'd not drop down to -10 degrees with the windchill though. Dear Weekend: I'm going to soak you up and enjoy your big breakfasts served during lunch time between playing in the snow and watching football. Bring it on!

<3 Link up to Friday's Letters here!

Am I good enough?

Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I think we've all heard that before, and brushed it off as if it was nothing before we became a mother. I did. I thought 'whatever, it can't be THAT hard. You have a baby and you feed them and love them. They grow and start walking and talking and they love you unconditionally and it's all rainbows and butterflies!'

The first time I realized just how wrong I was about motherhood being just beautiful and wonderful was while I was pregnant with Jack. Things weren't going as planned and I had no control over what was happening to me, my baby or my plan.

It's taken me about three and a half years to realize that motherhood isn't pretty. It isn't perfect. It isn't rainbows, crafts with perfect noodle-necklace outcomes...It's dirty. It's mean. It's hard. I often find myself asking 'Am I good enough?!'

Am I deserving of this amazing gift, my two beautifully perfect, happy, healthy boys? Am I enough to be here, 24 hours a day 7 days a week? Did I just say no to something so simple and little just so say no? Did I just yell for no reason? What kind of mother am I if my three year old just yelled and pointed his finger at me and told me 'you don't talk like that!'? Have I failed already?

And that's just mommy guilt. What about the wife guilt? The dishes, the laundry, the dinner, the list goes on.

It's been a hard six months for me. Emotionally, phyiscally, mentally...But, now, today I see a different light.

I am enough. I am good enough to be their mommy. I love them, unconditionally. I love each and every piece of them no matter what. I love their bad habits, I love that they are smart - smart enough to tell me when I'm doing something that I don't allow them to do..., I love that they are rough and tough boys, dirty and loving everything that boys do. I am enough because I love them more than myself and would do anything for them. I am deserving of them because I carried their little bodies inside of mine and held them close when they were new in this world and loved them thought the sleepless nights and endless crying spells.

Yesterday was one of those magic days, where from the time my babies crawled out of their beds and into mine until I laid them down to sleep at night everything was magic and pure joy. It's rare. Any mommy can tell you that, certainly one that stays home with her children all day long every day can for sure verify, that not everyday is magic. But yesterday was. From Jack loving his brother all day, to Owen giving non-stop kisses away. That day will be one I'll remember forever and it'll get me through the hard days full of poop explosions, temper tantrums and spilled milk mess.

I love these boys and would do anything for them. I'd give up anything to make sure they were happy and to make sure they knew I loved them.

Front Door Wreath.

I consider myself a crafty person. I love making things, painting, creating, etc. But, I'm also really cheap. I hate spending money on said crafts. I love the idea of a seasonal wreath for my front door. With the daycare I have people at my front door all of the time and I love how homey and cute a wreath is. But, have you looked at all of the possibilities for a wreath? I can't spend $20 on every wreath I want. So, I've come up with a simple, easy and almost free solution.

I rip apart my old wreath and reuse the same base. Every time.

Here is the original wreath I made. I bought the base at a craft store for $15. Then hot glued the flowers and bow. 

When it was time for Christmas I popped off the flowers and bow and added some holly berries that I found in a random Christmas bin, made a new bow and added a sparkly sign (Thanks Crystal, you come up a lot in this blog! Ha!)

Now I've decorated for Valentines Day (Clay HATES that I'm following suit with the grocery stores and just decorating from one holiday to the next with no break in between...) and my wreath had to be changed again! 

I don't have many Valentine's decorations but I just pulled from what I had. This is what I came up with!

I bought the wire heart things from the dollar store last year and had them wrapped around the porch railing but I love the look of this on the wreath. I feel like it's missing something so I may add to it but for now it's pretty! and it was free!

Taco Salad!

When Clay and I first lived together we didn't cook ANYTHING. Well, nothing that was healthy. He once baked my birthday cake and left it on the oven top with the oven still going and boiled my cooked and frosted cake. We ate a lot of ramen and hamburger helper (with crunchy noodles). So, anyway, when we first lived together and actually started cooking he introduced me to this completely delicious and easy dinner. This might be something a lot of people already eat and know how to cook but it was amazing for me!

Taco Salad!
1-2 lbs of ground turkey (you could also use beef or 2-4 shredded chicken breasts
Taco seasoning (I buy the huge Costco one and it calls for 1/2 cup, I use a little less than that because my kiddos don't like it to be spicy at all)
1 can red kidney beans, rinsed and drained (Clay likes them super soft so he also boils them while the meat is cooking)
Salad of your choice (we usually just buy the big bag of salad but we have also done a head of lettuce)
Ranch from scratch, sorta. Use the hidden valley ranch packets - the ones you mix with mayo and milk. It makes the salad!
Tortilla chips, crushed
Catalina Dressing

First cook and crumble your meat, then season. I add the kidney beans when I'm seasoning the meat, you can serve them on the side as a topping, or not at all. Built your salad, add meat, chips, dressing. You can add whatever you want to the salad. We love it with avocado, tomatoes, broccoli, bell pepper, shredded cheddar cheese, anything really.

It takes no time to throw together and it's super good. You can serve it in a crunchy taco bowl if you want to be fancy.

Enjoy!

Menu Planning.

Alright folks, this isn't about it being pretty-it's about function. And while I am totally envious of those of you that have beautiful hand writing, time to create things on the computer then print, a vynyl cutter and so on - I don't. I couldn't even find a clean sheet of paper so I used an old calendar from one of my daycare parents (thanks Crystal!), held it up to the window and traced the lines of the calendar on the back. And yes, it's taped on the inside of our cup cabinet, because that's the counter space where I do most of my cooking prep work. It's not pretty but it works for me. Maybe after my kids are grown a little I'll be able to find the time to make a pretty frame and calendar for the wall. But, as it stands here it is!

 

I find time here and there to get on Pinterest and to recipes, and I try to only pin things that I know my entire family with eat, including Owen who is 18 months old, and things that I know I can cook without completely screwing it up (I have hungry boys to feed! Waiting an extra 30 minutes for me to throw something together isn't an option!). 

I sat down during nap time and wrote out the days on the calendar and then started filling it in. There are things that I cook on a weekly basis because we love them and the kids will eat everything. Taco salad is a huge hit so we have it at least once a week (and there are always yummy leftovers for lunches!). Clay loves meatloaf so we have that all the time too. Anyway, I fill in the weekly rotation that I have in each week, trying to keep it randomized so we don't get too bored. I try to do Meatless Mondays so I keep those days free. 

Then I go onto Pinterest and scroll through the recipies that I want to try out and fill them in the empty spots. It takes a total of 15-20 minutes to do and it honestly saves me every single night.

Once I have the calendar filled in I put together a grocery list of everything I need for each dinner. This part takes the longest. I usually write on my calendars the amount of meat needed for each day (1 package of ground turkey, four chicken breasts, etc) and then I can just add everything up and buy all my meat at once. Costco has the best products for the best prices.

I grocery shop twice a month with the occasional stop for milk or butter, or bread if I didn't have time to bake it, etc.

Whew! That was a lot of talking. If you have questions or suggestions on how to do it better please share!!


I'll share recipies as I try them! And I'll also do another post about making freezer meals and the like soon.

Christmas!

We had an amazing Christmas, full of giggles and squeals of excitement (from all of us, even Clay and myself). Jack got a train table from Santa and Owen got a tool bench. They both LOVE their gifts and have been disappearing into the playroom for hours at a time without much fighting or arguing (which is RARE). Clay got a little helicopter that he's been flying all over the house and the kids LOVE it. Owen jumps up and down each time it flies in the air. This was the first year that Jack had any sort of understanding that Santa would be coming and leaving presents and he was PUMPED.

Christmas Eve my little brother Colton and he's sweet girlfriend Sammi came over for dinner and to exchange gifts. I burnt dinner but everything else was a success. The boys loved coloring with their Uncle and Aunt and I loved soaking up every second of being around my little brother. I'm lucky to have him in my life. I may or may not lay down in front of the moving truck in July to keep them here.

Colton and Sammi hung out and helped us with putting together the boy's Christmas and watch Elf. It was a perfect evening.

Clay and I woke the boys up around 6am so that they would nap before we had to head out to family gatherings. They were overjoyed and spoiled with their gifts.

I'll leave you with some pictures. I hope all of you had a great Christmas!

The stuffed stockings and Jack's table.

I LOVE these stockings.

This took Santa about 1.5 hours to build. Jack crumbled it within ten minutes.

Tool bench and cats!

Flying the helicopter!

The scary mess...

My honey and myself making Christmas dinner.

Dinner!

Look at those cheeks!

LOVE these boys.

<3