March!

Woah. It's already my birthday. I can't believe how quickly this year is going by. My kiddos are growing up so fast and the seasons are changing. It's an amazing time in our lives.

The weather has been warming up, though it's off and on, but anytime we can we take full advantage of it. We've been riding bikes, going for walks, playing in the grass, taking the dog out to play ball - anything to get out of the house. Jack is loving it and Owen, as always, is just a happy camper to come along for the ride.

Jack is proving to be a difficult toddler, terrible twos aren't an accurate description of our daily lives. Though, I'm sure lots of other people have it way worse, this is my blog and I'll cry about it if I want to (though, I'd love to hear other stories and any suggestions/advice). He can be such a great kid, he is such a great kid, but he's mastered the art of not listening, intentionally doing things he's not supposed to do, and when he gets mad he goes into this 10-15 second rage and needs to hit, throw, push or do something physical to clearly explain why he's mad. I don't know where he gets it from, Clayton and I are both pretty mild people. I'm hoping it's a phase. I know it's a phase. I just need to put myself in time out more - and eat more chocolate.

Owen is walking. And talking. He's huge. Where did my baby go? He says lots of things: More, Jack, Bella, Momma, Dada, nanana (banana), mmmMMMmm (as in 'delicious!'), whhaaachaaaaa (as in high five...it's the noise we make as the slapping happens. Don't judge.), uh-oh and good job (though, sounds more like goo jooo). He's only 10 months. He's a genius.

Clayton is such a great husband and spoiled me for my birthday. He took the day off (and tomorrow too!!) and made me my favorite breakfast (biscuits and gravy and scrambled eggs - YUM!), he got me some brown converse (YAAY!), some circle mirrors for our bathroom that I've been eyeing for the past two years, a picture frame and a coupon organizer. He's amazing. We got ready and took the boys to Monkey Buizness (best three dollars spent! Jack LOVED it and Owen, again, was just happy to hang out). After lunch at Applebee's we came home and Clayton let me have time to sew! I made two skits, both of which I don't like (but hey, it was good practice!) and then we fentured back out to Fred Meyer so I could get some dairy free ice cream to go with the yummy cake Clayton is baking me!

Good day.

I'm a very lucky lady. Oh, and read this:  Read this. Be a better Parent.  It's worth the five minutes of your life. I'm not perfect, VERY far from it, but it makes me cry to think that a father, or mother, would treat their child like this. There are ways to go about telling your children no and belittling them isn't one of them.

And now, pictures!

He looks like a two year old in this picture.

Clayton asked me to document the first time Jack watched ninja turtles. He liked it for 10 seconds and then moved on.

Water and corn starch = solid 30 minutes of fun = solid 45 minutes of clean up. 

CHEEESE!

He's so big he can sit on a big boy swing this year! 

And so can Clay...

Snuggle muffin!

So cute!

<3

I'm crafty.

I think I've used up my alone birthday time. I can hear children causing a ruckus. Until next time. <3

Anything but Glamorous...

Motherhood is many things. It's also NOT a lot of things. Even though some Moms will lead you to believe that they can pull of changing a poopy diaper and still feel sexy, they are lying. To you and probably themselves.

Motherhood is not glamorous. When I imagined becoming a mommy I thought it would be sunshine and smiles, sweet butterfly kisses and silly dances, bubble baths and cuddly naps. I thought it would kind of be like Mary Popins, without the obvious acid trip in the middle. It is those things, 3% of the time.

The other 97%? It's poop from their toes to their armpits,  unidentifiable throw up (is that the cat's or the baby's?), tantrums, screaming, throwing, kicking, mess making, etc.

I spent last weekend reading a mommy blog (www.crappypictures.com) and I laughed so hard I cried. Several times. She knows what mommyhood is all about.

Then, yesterday I stumbled upon a different kind of mommy blog (parentingfromscratch.wordpress.com). That one made me cry and feel like a bad mommy.

I love my kids. My boogers. My loves. They are my walking, talking, car-playing, block-throwing, worlds. I wouldn't change anything for a million dollars (unless the million dollars meant no more I-am-two-hear-me-roar-throwing-a-fit-all-day stage, I'd probably change that).

Everyone has their own parenting style. Everyone does things VERY differently. When I think of staying home and raising my little people I think of teaching ABC's, counting, laughing, chasing, making cookies, painting, and everything being roses, rainbows and bliss. But, even when I don't have daycare kids and get to pretend that I am a simple stay at home mommy, bliss rarely occurs. And by rarely, I mean occurs once or twice that day for approximently 25 seconds.

The dog is barking, the dishes are dirty and stinky, the baby pooped, Jack fell, Jack pushed the baby, Jack wants to color, Mommy closed the door to pee (seriously, WHY does the bathroom even have a door anymore? I should just take it down and use it for a fun corner shelf or headboard like I see on pinterest all of the time). It just doesn't happen, at least not for me.

I can't help but wondering if I'm doing something wrong, am I not mommy enough? Are my expectations too high? Too low? Are my kids behind in development? Ahead? Slow? Out of control?

But, then they nap. I eat some chocolate and realize that I miss them and can't wait for them to wake up and that's when it happens.

Motherhood. It's such a confusing, hard, frustrating, rewarding, amazing, daunting, endless job.

And I love it.

Today is a good day!

See, I really do have good days!

Here is an update on each member of our little family, smallest to largest! ;)

Owen:
Our little booger is nine months old. Yes, NINE. It makes my heart ache to think of my littlest baby growing up so fast. I am so blessed to be able to be home with him all of the time. He looks more and more like his big brother everyday. He hasn't walked all by himself yet, but he sure did try. He was walking along the couch the other day and was watching Jack and some daycare kids play and I think he forgot that he didn't know how to walk because he just sort of threw himself into a walk and landed flat on his face. Poor baby. He does, however, use a walker to get around and can almost turn it to where he wants to go! (A walker that he pushes, not that he sits in - he won't sit in that kind of walker anymore, he's way to independent!) He is eating all kinds of foods, but would love to just have crackers all day! He loves apples, strawberries, celery, bananas and squash. He says momma, dada and something that sounds like more. He is sleeping in his own crib (mostly) but still wakes up three or four times a night. He just can't get enough snuggles in with mommy. Though I hate losing the sleep, I love the cuddling.

Jack:
Oh my dearest Jack-a-roo! He's two. And a handful. He is so smart and sweet, but he is two. Anyone that's got a two year old or ever had a child that's been two can understand. He LOVES Thomas the train and Elmo (but, he calls Elmo 'Alf Alf' - I have no idea where he got that). We live close enough to a train track that two or three times a day he can hear a train and he stops everything and just holds as still as he can until the noise is gone and then he'll yell 'BYE BYE CHOO CHOO TRAIN!'. He does the same thing with airplanes. He is still a blanket baby and refuses to have an owie or sleepy time without it. He loves 'brush tooth brush' and 'BAFS' (brushing his teeth and baths), especially in mommy's bathroom. He is such a good big brother and helps Owen with getting toys, wiping his nose and getting him a diaper. He also LOVES helping me cook. He has started talking in complete sentences - 'Mom, I want more juice', 'I fall down', 'I want more cookies' - It's so nice to be able to understand what he needs and help him!

Me:
I'm hanging in there. This staying-at-home-no-adult-interaction thing is a HUGE adjustment still after almost a year. But, I love it. I wouldn't ever want to give it up. I also love having other children around for my kiddos to play with and so the daycare thing isn't terrible (I just have one bad apple that seems to spoil things sometimes). I'm back to the pant size I was before kids, though not happy with where everything is...just is (and yes, I'm saying this as I'm baking chocolate chip cookies). We eat healthy, I run around with kids all day, I am comfortable with my skin and I have a husband who loves me. I will eat cookies until my heart is content! :)

Clayton:
Ooh my dear husband. Well, I know you are all dying to know (I say that like I have a huge following...HA) but his face is almost all better! Within the past two days I've noticed a huge improvement and yesterday he smiled at me. It gave me butterflies and stopped me mid sentence when I was talking to him. I almost cried. It's been so hard not being able to nurse him back to health (I mean, what could I have done? Face massages?) and having it be such an obvious thing, I'm just glad for it to be gone. He loves his job and is such a great daddy to our boys.


Other than all of that there really isn't anything new to report. We haven't taken very many pictures, and I could try to come up with a good reason as to why but there really isn't one. I'm committing to being better about that. I used to be so good with weekly updates of Jack and then life just has a way of sneaking up on you and laundry has to be folded and dinner has to be made!

We went to McCall for the Winter Carnival!

Clay and I look so mad, but we had a really great time, I swear. This is Zoe pulling Jack!

Trying to keep warm in the car!

Jack before...

Jack after! :)

<3

Monday.

I have a terrible case of the Mondays. The kind that involves tears, mental breakdowns, cleaning of random nooks and craneys of the house and an intense need to be left alone for longer than 20 minutes. 

Needless to say, it's nap time - I thought I'd update the blog with some beautiful update on how wonderful our lives are, share some pictures and forget about having to make dinner, change 12 more poopy diapers today and clean the living room for the millionth time - but Owen woke up and is DYING from not being held. So, enjoy the photos and captions. Maybe some day I'll update with something meaningful and not have to mention how terrible of a day I'm having. I swear, I do have good days. 

It snowed! It started around 7am and didn't stop until 2pm. Then, it turned to rain. As soon as Clay got home Jack was thrown outside to play in it for the first time this year. He LOVED it!

Owen is such a snuggler. I love nap time with him.

And Clayton. My poor husband. He has Bell's Palsy (a usually temporary paralysis of one side of your face). He forgot an eye patch (he can't close his eye all of the way so at night he has to wear one) so he fashioned one out of gauze. He, despite the suckiness of this stupid thing, loves being a pirate. 

So cute! I didn't teach him how to rock, he just did it!

Jack is such a good big brother.

Owen will be walking sooner than I'm okay with. He loves to scale the walls, chairs, etc - anything he can hold on to or lean on. 

This is how cool kids ride in the car. 

Clay got me flowers because he's a good husband. I cut up the lemon, I'm in love with how it looks!

Our new wall art. All for under $20!

Very bad day.

Today was an awful, good for nothing, waste of time, crying, screaming, kicking and shoving kind of a day. I shouldn't have even gotten out of bed. I also shouldn't have picked up the house for the 1,923 time just to have the same damn book shelf torn apart. But, I did. I got out of bed. I cleaned the house, I made dinner and I attempted to be a good mommy. Just like every day. Some days are good, some a great and some a just down right terrible.

I didn't get to vacuum, sweep, mop, or wipe anything down. Though, I did get to pick up the same toys and put them away several times, make lunch for a very cranky bunch of children, unload the dishwasher and try to make two teething babies happy.

I did get to spend the day with my kiddos (though, cranky, stinky and sassy).

Trying to spin a terrible day into a good one when you are still bent about the day, listening to Clayton threaten Jack with timeout for the millionth time just makes one more bitter about the day.

I also attempted to craft during nap time only to get more frustrated with the damn thing.

Just a bad day.

Now, I'm going to sew something - I have no idea what and try to forget that today happened.

Tomorrow will be better.

It has to be.

New Year!

Well, it's January 16th and I'm just now getting serious about thinking about New Year Resolutions (like how I can't even commit to thinking about getting serious about them?!). I'm really liking the idea of family resolutions and resolutions for both Clay and I as a couple. Really, these are just life goals - but for some reason folks don't like calling them goals so resolutions it is.

For me - I'd like to spend more time focusing on me. Simple things really - making sure I put makeup on instead of worry about weather Jack's shoes are organized, paint my toes instead of fussing with the laundry, etc. I'm also going to start sewing more. I'm in love with creating things! I made both Jack and Owen dinosaur hats, and though FAR from perfect they are still VERY adorable.

For Clay and I - a romantic get away. Or just a get away. Hell, we could go stay at a motel 6 in Boise and I'd be ELATED. I don't remember the last time I got to wake up in his arms. Oh the things having two children will do to you! We also need to be better about how we spend our date time - We usually rush through dinner and then go to the grocery store. Anyone with more than one child knows that going to the grocery store with children and having to actually get things that are breakable (chips, eggs, etc) or that are food (I mean really, Jack tries to eat EVERYTHING I put in the cart) is a nightmare so Clay and I usually go to the store on our dates. Not very romantic.

As a family - We need to get out of the house more. With staying home I feel like I'm missing SO much of the outside world. Buildings are completed and I didn't even know they cleared that corn field 6 months ago for that new store. I really should put that as one of my goals...Get out of the house more.

Jack at the aquarium, I'd love to go back!

I'm sure Clay's goal would be to lose weight, but he looks so handsome and I love him with a little meat on his bones. He can get so thin!


In other news, there really isn't much else to report. EXCEPT...

Owen is crawling. All over the place. He follows me everywhere and gets so frustrated when I'm busy going from room to room and he has to crawl after me just to have me change directions. Poor baby. He will be walking soon though, he's already scaling back and forth on the couch and pulling himself up against anything - chairs, walls, his crib, anything really. And will stand with only one hand balancing himself. It's crazy. I'm not ready for my baby to be a toddler. I must stop thinking about it or I will cry!!

And now for some pictures!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This time of year is so busy, for everyone really, and then I went and added a husband and two children to the mix. It's funny, I yearn for this time of year (well, December, I'm fully aware it's January and I'm just now blogging about Christmas) all year long and when it gets here I become a worrying, panicking, bossing, plan making mess.

All of Clayton's siblings were together for Christmas, so it was insane to try to plan anything but, like always, it came together and we got to spend some really great time with everyone. I love being apart of the family and always enjoy a good chaotic Lowder holiday!

Jack isn't quite old enough to get Christmas, but he did love opening presents. He got a kitchen, shopping cart and mega blocks from Santa (100pc. of mega blocks - THANKS Santa, those are hidden in the garage now!) Owen got a educational singing dog that Jack loves more than Owen. Babies are so difficult to shop for - especially a second child who already has all of his big brothers toys!

My wonderful husband got me a sewing machine that I am looking forward to spending some quality time using! I've gotten it out during nap time a couple of times and made both boys some p.j. pants (though nothing like the wonderful pants Alyson has made and passed down) and mittens for Jack (though not very functional he likes playing with them). I'm looking forward to finding the time to make curtains for Owen's room, our room and the living room as well as learning how to make shirts for the boys. I'm lucky enough to have Clay's mom to teach me.

We spent New Year's Eve at home, playing Phase 10 with Clay's wonderful mom and then New Year's Day we went to my mom's for dinner. Clay and I have been off this past week and have enjoyed some good quality family time. We went to the Idaho Aquarium and Jack loved it. He ran back and forth and told the fishes what to do, where to go and tried to poke them through the glass. There was one shark in the pool where you could touch them that kept swimming the outside of the pool and would jump up on the side, kinda trying to get out and Jack thought it was so funny.

Now, after a week straight of children I think Clay has vowed never to have any more. Jack is going through a very defiant phase and refuses to do anything that he is asked or told to do. I was going to potty train him this week but he's been so naughty that I think he'd just use it against me, he'd probably figure it out and pee all over the couch or something. So, we'll wait until the summer I think and see if he's ready then.

Owen is getting so big. I think I say that every time I update. He's seriously growing up so fast. I can't believe that he is going to be one year old in May. I can't believe that time has gone by so fast. I remember time going by fast with Jack but not this fast. It's crazy what two kids will do to you. I swear Clay has gray hair! Owen started crawling this week, but hasn't mastered the art - I think he forgets that he can crawl so when I put him down he fusses and starts crawling and then remembers and gets happy. It's really funny to watch. I didn't think he was going to crawl, he doesn't really have any reason to. I spoil him and Jack will bring him toys. He really wants to walk but he doesn't quite have the balance yet. I'm sure it'll only be a few months. After MONTHS of Clayton pressuring me to move Owen into his crib I've finally done it. Last night was Owen's first night and he did really well. He slept for 6 hours, woke up to eat - slept in bed with me for three hours, woke up to eat again and then slept in bed for another 3 hours. Today he napped there all day.

Speaking of bed, I should get both kiddos off to bed. Poor Clayton is out there with Jack covered in yogurt and Owen screaming. Best. Husband. Ever.

Hope all is well. <3